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Resisting The Rush

What's The Rush?



Let Them Be Little


Scrolling along in various articles, post, and remembering my own experiences, I see it...

the rushing.

There exist a sense of pressure, either from outsiders or your own expectations, that a child needs to master and learn "x, y, and z" before a certain age or milestone.

It's so difficult for me to agree or comply with this mentality.

Perhaps it stems from my own experiences with my children, primarily speaking of my first...


The thrill, overwhelming joy, and my enjoyment of my new found role in life, once I had my first child, was overflowing. While in the throws of being a new mom, I was finding our groove, and admittedly not having a clue as to what I was doing, I still loved every minute of it. My son and I were a team, and happy as could be, adjusting and progressing great.


I remember though, the first instance where my confidence was shaken, was at one of his first appointments with his pediatrician, and it came in the form of a questionnaire.

So, as you do, I began to fill it out.

Now before I continue, I know (and also appreciate), that these questionnaires have good intentions and benefit,

but with that said, I genuinely questioned the questionnaire.

Can your baby do this,

Does your baby do that,

Is your baby saying this?


It was this that sat on my heart.

While I realize that the form screens for potential issues, it also led me to believe in that moment, that if my baby wasn't doing those things listed, that there was something to worry about, that his development wasn't right. I also questioned the accuracy of the questionnaire itself. Who's to say the many parents before me didn't fudge the answers on their form, then throwing off the statistics...tell me I'm not the only person who thought this!


This certainly wasn't the only time a push for "what he should be doing", came along. More times came as he grew to toddler, that tried to stir up doubts. In-laws, and the occasional competitive friend, would suggest that he should be doing "x,y,or z". My thoughts always wondering why?

He was developing wonderfully, happily, and intelligently - why should he be doing what you determine he should.

I had no need to be concerned or worried that something was developmentally wrong, and yet that is exactly what they made me feel.

Things like his hair growth, his crawling, his speech.

They weren't allowing him to develop on his own time and terms.

I got defensive, absolutely!


Children develop differently and beautifully on their own timing. What I experienced was that others were attempting to impose their expectation on his learning.

He was learning and growing at his pace, respect that.

He didn't have to know everything at two years old.

We were exploring, playing, laughing, bonding- why wasn't that the expectation for someone so small?

Learn absolutely! Soak it all up, but placing standards and pressures on little ones to achieve too much before they themselves are ready is misguided and stressful.


I share this in hopes that if any other parent is experiencing that pressure, worry, or doubt to resist the rushing;

Give them time.

Let them be silly.

Let them get messy.

Let them play and explore.

Let them enjoy being little!

That's where learning really lies.

And they will get there, beautifully, in their own time, if just given the space to do so.


Just slow down and enjoy the fleeting time together, because speaking from experience, they grow up so fast!


 

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